Shanghai shenanigans

Weather: clear blue skies
Caption: Look Jackson, 2 cranes!

Today was my first “normal” day in Beijing. All the plaasjapies have gone back home and the Beijingers went back to work after their “golden week” off. The subways were busy, but not too crowded and there were no out of towners struggling to get through the subway gates. Yes, apparently swiping your subway ticket and walking through the gate, one at a time, is complicated if your from Put Sonder Water in outer Mongolia. With fewer out of towners there are also fewer people who gawk. The sophisticated, well healed were out in force today and the more time I spend here, to more I like it. So far we’ve only been asked to pose for a photo op once, which I find a bit strange cause the first time we came here we were asked all the time. But that was Shanghai, perhaps people who visit Beijing have encountered more foreigners. Who knows.

I keep on finding little present that Little Miss Skanky, as we now refer to our landlady left for us. Shaking out the lounge shag pile-esque carpet the other day I was rewarded with grape pips, watermelon pips, some long black human hair and a 10c coin or two. At least it was a financially rewarding exercise. And we have started farming with dust bunnies. I don’t know where they come from, but they keep on appearing and must be breeding like rabbits somewhere in the flat…

Went for my first interview today at Stanford English. And so far so good. On Wednesday I will be introduced to some folks at the (very important sounding) Ministry of Commerce or MofCom, to be followed by a 20 minute mock lecture on Thursday, just to see if I can do the job. I have to find a business etiquette topic to lecture on. Any suggestions are welcome. I was thinking how to do effective PowerPoint presentations or, and I’m leaning towards this one, how to accept refreshments offered at the beginning of a meeting. Yes, folks, these are exciting times we live in.

I am eagerly awaiting the 2 boxes I shipped from South Africa. According to my calculations they should have arrived on Wednesday/Thursday, but because of the golden week off, they still have to clear customs. Expected delivery date is now late next week. Had I known I would have sent them by sea, which takes four weeks and costs half the price. But I think I’ll need my warm clothes sooner rather than later. It was a typical autumn day today – clear, blue skies, hot in the sunshine, but cool in the shade. Can’t believe that we’re heading into winter again. Boo-Hoo.

Beijing is still Olympics bedonnerd. The Olympic slogan One world, One dream is plastered everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Unsightly building sites are wrapped with printed plastic sheeting with the slogan plastered all over it, in 10 different languages. There are endless Olympic-related programmes on CCTV, on the subway televisions etc etc. Although we went to the Olympic precinct the other day, we didn’t go into the Bird’s Nest stadium – there were simply too many locals who were there to gape at this architectural wonder. I think the Chinese as a nation is incredibly proud of fact that it all went off without a glitch. And the Bird’s Nest is pretty impressive, although a little smaller (from the outside) than I thought it would be. But then I thought the same about the pyramids… The one thing that’s back with a vengeance after the Olympics is the spitting. Apparently it was banned during the Olympics. If only they left that rule in place. Nobody here wear open shoes on the street, nobody. I now understand why.

I’m at the airport at the moment, waiting for my flight to Shanghai, where I’ll be going for a medical examination for visa purposes. I made the mistake of not checking in any luggage and so had all my toiletries in my rucksack. Big mistake. I think my bags went through the x-ray machine about 7 times. And every time they found another bottle with liquid. Each bottle had to be opened and smelt. At my perfume the security officer pulled a face – perhaps not her fragrance then. In the end I only had to leave the honey body butter I bought this morning. And my boarding pass was checked at least 4 times and that was just to get through the x-ray security. Just cause you saw somebody check it 30 seconds ago does not mean you should not check it too, cause maybe your colleague is a complete moron.

Slightly later: Aah, Shanghai, the Jewel of the Orient, the Paris of the East. So many names… Unfortunately I’m staying at the arse-end of Shanghai – I have no idea exactly where, but I’ve just gone for a walk it it’s pretty basic out there folks. Hassell’s driver picked me up from the airport and whisked me off to the Blong Homelike Hotel on Hami Street. Auspicious some might say since my favourite godson in the whole-wide world, Jackson sometimes calls me Hami. But it’s never plain sailing all the way. Hassell was supposed to have paid for the hotel, and hadn’t. Between my no Mandarin and the receptionist’s no English it was a bit of a struggle, but in the end I had to pay. At 258 RMB per night (although I had to pay 400) I wasn’t expecting too much. I most certainly wasn’t expecting the oval bed… Yes folks, oval, with orange bead spread and duvet. Bea-ah-utiful I tell you. And the wallpaper… words fail me. But it’s clean and the wood carvings in the passage way are pretty, and most importantly: it’s only for ONE night. But my favourite part of the room is the “products shelf” stocked with knickers, boxers, socks, stockings and, wait for it: Male love lotion called You Can. Very responsibly there’s also a pack of condoms available.


If I was staying any longer I may have sent some clothing to be dry cleaned. Now where did I put my Feather Blouse, cause it’s only 40 RMB to have it laundered at this mighty fine establishment. Perhaps I left it at home with my Py jamas. Homelike indeed.